Aaaaargh! I fucking hate my life.

My Easter Sunday has been ruined. A few days ago, I was asked by my boss to find some GPs willing to go out of Manila for an Annual PE for a company. The gig was going to take 3 days so I had to find two people willing to stay near the site for 3 days. I asked around and found three doctors willing to slave themselves for the smallish payment. I sent their numbers to the boss and waited for his reply. I sent it THRICE and still no reply. Religious obligations (naks!) pushed the issue out of my mind until this Easter when the rotten sonofagun texted me asking who the MDs for the job where. He was texting me using another number.

SHIT. What happened to all the text messages I sent?! He changed his number without telling me!! Gawdamnit! I was sent scrambling trying to find out if they were available. Since I'm ranting about this shit, my recruits weren't available. They had waited and waited until they got fed up and took other jobs. I actually had a hard time believing all of them found jobs so quickly. I suspect they just got pissed off at us and decided they weren't interested.

SHIIIIIT. Fucking asshole shit!

I wasn't the boss. I'm just an employee. Why the hell was I being asked to do this?! What the hell, man?!

Anyway, I'm going to that job tomorrow. My poor friend J. will be manning the clinic alone tomorrow and then will go to the out-of-town shit job for the next 2 days while I'll be at the clinic alone.

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

Fuck, I googled someone.

I finally went and did it. The one thing I swore I would not do, because it would mean I had finally hit rock bottom. I did it in a moment of weakness and now I feel ashamed of myself.

I googled someone.

She was my crush for the longest time but we lost touch after school and I haven't even thought about her until a few days ago when we former classmates met for dinner at that shitty mall in EDSA. I was cool, or so I thought, until she walked in and made beso to all of us. Holy shit.

She was beautiful. More than ever.

After a few days of trying not to text her or call her, I was feeling depressed. I was so down that not even calling my best friend a "gay fag" helped. So, in a moment of extreme weakness, I googled her name.

I typed...


What?! Do you really think I'd tell you what her name is?!

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Introduction

As a doctor, I was taught to have unconditional positive regard for all my patients and to always affirm the value of each person. However, working as an in-house physician in a clinic and diagnostic center here in Manila has sometimes made me forget about all those high sounding crap taught to me in med school and wish that I could wrap my hands around my patient's neck and squeeze to my heart's content.

My duties in the clinic involve seeing general medicine cases, such as the common colds, a lot of urinary tract infections and many many sexually transmitted infections. I also see some patients that need follow up such as hypertensive old people but I often just refer them to the specialists since they get their income from the number of patients they see. My second set of duties include doing pre-employment physical examinations for all the clients that the clinic has. I see the client-patient, do PE and later classify if they are fit to work or not depending on the results of the laboratory tests and chest x-rays. This duty takes up the bulk of my time and absolutely requires no brain power.

What it requires though is patience. Lots of it. Whole heaping piles of it. A fucking shitload of it. Everyday, I am plagued with at least one little shit-face who manages to make my temper rise and swear that this would be my last day in that place. Everyday I get to see people who make me rethink about going to pathology or radiology where I don't have to deal with people.

Please don't get me wrong, the vast majority of my patients and those I see to do pre-employment PE to are good people and I am oftentimes satisfied and happy that I was able to provide a service to them. It's just that some of them have a real talent of making me want to go Chuck Norris on them and destroy them with a round house kick. To the face.

This blog will record my daily frustrations with my patients, the people I work with, and other dumbass people or situation I encounter here in Metro Manila. Most probably, I will also be writing about my own dumbass deeds since I do end up getting pissed off at myself often.

Let the anger begin.